Figging: a step-by-step

Anal training is so rewarding. Many have graduated my Academy with a well-oiled fist up their arse, when only months before they were whimpering on my little finger. Figging invokes the strict and degrading punishment of the Victorian asylum. The practice goes back to the Greeks, who are written up as highly intelligent slave-keeping perverts. Whether you’re in laurels or starched linen, this technique will give very pleasing results. Keep gags handy for whiners.

  • Aquire a whole piece of ginger with no sections cut off. It looks a little like a fist with fingers sprouting from it, if you tilt your head and squint.

  • With a sharp kitchen knife, slice off a finger, starting at the heart of the root. Take time to peel the rough skin completely and shape, until you are left with a potent, glistening, butt plug or dildo-shaped piece, depending on where you intend to insert it. The bottom of the piece should extend far enough out of the body so that it is easy to remove. I usually keep the width about as large as my thumb, but your partner may have a higher girth tolerance. To get an idea of how long it should be, compare it to the  length of your hand from the crease of your wrist to the tip of your middle finger. Don’t forget to round off the end.

  • Go wash your hands. Wash them like you’ve been camping. Wash them like you’ve put your hands all over a raw chicken. If you don’t, you will invariably rub your eye, and that’s a bad ow. But who am I to yuck other people’s yums? You and your partner(s) may have a fetish for swollen, red, leaking eyes.

  • Arrange your partner face up or down on a bed, over a bench, a desk, your knee, in stocks, or any position where you have access to their vagina or anus. I anticipate fidgeting in this practice, so restraints are a wise precaution.

  • No lube! Against intuition I know, but lube is a barrier to the oils penetrating the tissues of the anus or vagina. The juices act as lubricant.

  • Using gloves, slowly insert the piece into your partner.

  • Wait. Read a short story or another of my blog posts. This one will take about 2 minutes, which is enough time for the ginger to start doing its work. It starts out pleasantly warm, turns into a tingle, and doesn’t stop intensifying.

  • The Victorian school headmistress would, at this point, lay out the spanking tools. The crop, the cane, the paddle, the tawse. The Grecian slave owner would have a birch switch or rattan cane handy. Your partner must decide whether to tighten their muscles in anticipation of impact, bringing a sharp sting from the ginger, or stay relaxed and take more intensity from the slap.

  • Enjoy 15-20 minutes of intense burning/tingling/orgasmic play!

If the sensation does not feel strong enough for your partner, keep the piece tightly wrapped in plastic in the fridge for a few days. This ferments it and makes it rather more feisty. Prepare several  pieces of different ages and play Figging Roulette to test your partner’s resilience.

I will be doing figging sessions in August for a discount. Quote “ginger” in your application form.

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